Booze in Yer Cake? Nay Nay Nay!

Well I can't make the Salted Caramel Upside Down Cake today. I did want to do these in order. I SHOULD do these in order. Instead, it's to be Red Velvet Cake with Cooked Vanilla Icing and the Upside Down cake tomorrow. Why can't I make the Upside Down cake you ask? Cause it contains demon rum. Literally. Oh I can get rum. And I can bake a cake with rum. But I can't bring it to yoga and serve it to my more conservative Muslim lady friends. And since they are my closest friends here, I don't want to freak them out by giving them booze cake.

Red Velvet Cake as pictured in the cookbook. We all know how mine will look. 

A quarter cup of rum in cake? Hmmm...While it's no secret that plenty of Muslims hit the booze now and again....or nightly... or every ten minutes,it just isn't on to serve it in cake at a social gathering. A lot of Muslims, like conservative Christians, don't drink (or pour it into their food). I am not an expert on what is haram, or prohibited, by any stretch of the imagination. If something is haram, I  think verses in the Quran usually begin with "forbidden unto you" or contain warnings about hell-fire if something is absolutely off limits. As in, "forbidden unto you are carrion and blood and swine flesh." (5 Al  Ma'idah :3). So we can't eat rotting flesh, drink blood, or eat pork. This admonition doesn't happen with booze. Again, not an expert.

One doesn't find "forbidden unto you" connected with the five passages about drink in the Quran. We do see an admonition about being drunk in the mosques. Reasonable. Another passage compares drink to the handiwork of the devil. Many a battered wife might agree eh? One passage (5. Al Ma'idah :93) is not so much about alcohol as much as it is about being mindful of how much we consume. It's pretty interesting to see one passage in the Quran (16 An Nahl :67) state drink can be nourishing. Well can I get a witness! As near as I can see from my limited, half baked research, it's a lot like anything else done to excess. However, it's human nature to use sources that agree with our already established point of view, and since I enjoy a refreshing pina colada now and again, the first place I looked agreed with everything I wanted it to. But good heavens there are many who would disagree with me. Therefore, the gals of yoga are getting a different cake tonight. It's red, so I shall dub it "Shaytana" cake.

I really crack myself up. Now it's off to the grocery store for more supplies.

Red Velvet Cake

Not my original recipe by far

• 1/2 cup(s) unsalted butter, softened
• 1 1/2 cup(s) sugar
• 4 large egg yolks
• 3 tablespoon(s) red food coloring
• 1 1/2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup(s) cocoa
• 1 teaspoon(s) salt
• 1 cup(s) buttermilk
• 2 1/4 cup(s) sifted cake flour
• 1 teaspoon(s) baking soda
• 1 teaspoon(s) white vinegar
• Make the batter: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Using a small brush, lightly coat two 9-inch cake pans with butter or vegetable-oil cooking spray. Dust the pans with flour, tap out any excess, and set aside. In a large bowl, using a mixer set on medium-high speed, beat the butter and sugar until light. Add the yolks and continue to beat for 1 more minute. In a small bowl, stir the food coloring, the vanilla, and the cocoa together. Reduce mixer speed to low and add the cocoa paste to the batter. In a glass measure, mix the salt with the buttermilk and add it to the batter by thirds, alternating with the flour. In another small bo


• wl, mix the baking soda with the vinegar and blend into the batter.
1. Bake the cake: Divide the batter equally between the pans and spread evenly. Bake on the middle rack of the oven until a tester inserted in the center of each layer comes out clean -- about 30 minutes. Cool in the cake pans on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Using a knife, loosen cake layers from the sides of the pans and invert the layers onto wire rack to cool completely.
2. Ice the cake: Use a serrated knife to split each layer into 2 even layers. Line the edges of a cake plate with 3-inch-wide strips of waxed or parchment paper and place a cake layer, trimmed side down, on top. Evenly spread 1 cup of icing over the layer and repeat with 2 other layers. Top with the final layer and cover the top and sides with remaining icing.

Cooked Vanilla Icing

• 1/4 cup(s) all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoon(s) all-purpose flour
• 2 cup(s) whole milk
• 2 cup(s) unsalted butter, softened
• 2 cup(s) confectioners' sugar
• 2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract

1. In a medium saucepan, whisk the flour and milk together until smooth. Place the saucepan over medium heat and cook, stirring constantly, until thick -- about 5 minutes.
2. Remove from heat, cool to room temperature, and set aside. In a medium bowl and using a mixer set on high speed, beat the butter and sugar until light.
3. Add the vanilla, reduce mixer speed to medium, and slowly add the cooled milk mixture. Beat for 1 more minute.

This is how I cooled off the milk mixture to room temperature. You know there is no air conditioner in the kitchen. Why is it in the desert they put AC in EVERY room except the one we cook in? Gar! I promise the floor is clean. 

Have some orange velvet cake! It isn't red, and the picture from my crappy cheapo tablet doesn't have good color, but this cake is ok!

I'm pretty sure the cake has a couple eggshells in it. I didn't mean to. I was dropping egg yolks out of the the shells into my new fabulous mixer when I dropped a shell inside the bowl. I yipped really loud, but squelched it before my husband could figure out I'd done something dorky again. I fished them out...but it's hard to say if a couple little bits are left. I guess someone will find out! Fortunately nobody at yoga tonight bit into one. If the hapless victim did, she said nothing. That is what we do on Monday nights now. Yoga and cake. In that order, which is very important. 

I very much recommend this cake, assuming you have a mixer. The Cooked Vanilla Icing is really nice. It helps that I didn't add 5 teaspoons salt like in yesterday's cake. 

Tomorrow is another cake day. I can't believe how tired I am already. Only 362 more to go!

Love,

Felicia El Aid

A Cake A Day...or Broke and Crying in Salalah

I realized last night that I can't do this cake challenge without a sturdy mixer. The problem is, I don't have a sturdy bank account. Mixers aren't cheap! I can't, however, beat the ingredients for sponge cake-by hand-until the batter is double in volume. A six layer sponge cake!

Why does this picture have only five layers when the recipe clearly makes six? I bet the baker in the test kitchen muffed it up like I will.

So it's off to K&M after school today for a mixer. I can't, under any circumstance, go price them at Lulus (as you know from my previous post). Shudder. I called the husband (aka His Lordship or Sir) and told him I was getting a lift after school with another teacher. A man teacher! There was a pause. A moment of silence if you will, while he considered my options. Permission was granted. For the lift to the store, that is, not the purchase. A woman's salary, within the context of Islam, is her money. Whatever salary a Muslim wife earns is supposed to be for her personal use. All household expenses are paid for by the husband. Does it really work this way in 2014? Yes, many times it does. Do Muslim women help out with household expenses if need be? Yes, many do. But we don't have to, dang it! When a good husband (note I said good..not dictatorial) considers whether his wife should gad about with coworkers and friends, he isn't deciding if he trusts her. Unless he's a lunatic. You see, wives are the heart of the home, and since many of the fine people of Salalah live to rubberneck and talk about each other, "talk" is to be avoided if one wants a harmonious life in this fine city.

It will come as a shock to those of you who've known me for years, but if he said to wait until HE could take me to the store, I would have accepted his judgement. Ok...not without quiet grumbling (when I hung up the phone), but I would have said fine. And sighed very heavily. Really. Man I'm perfect!

The Recipe

Sponge Cake with Chocolate Frosting
Totally copied and pasted

• 1 3/4 cup(s) cake flour
• 2 teaspoon(s) baking powder
• 1 1/4 cup(s) (plus 3 tablespoons) milk
• 1 cup(s) (plus 2 tablespoons ) unsalted butter, plus 2 tablespoons
• 4 large eggs
• 2 cup(s) granulated sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
• 5 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract
• 6 ounce(s) unsweetened chocolate
• 6 3/4 cup(s) confectioners' sugar
• 1 tablespoon(s) decorative sprinkles

1. Make the cake: Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Butter the bottom of a 9-inch by 13-inch baking pan. Fit parchment paper into the bottom of the pan, butter the parchment and pan sides and dust with flour. Set aside. Sift the flour and baking powder together and set aside.
2. Heat 1 cup of milk just to a boil. Stir in 2 tablespoons butter and keep hot. Beat eggs in a large bowl using a mixer set on high speed until they become foamy. Add the granulated sugar, salt, and 2 teaspoons vanilla and beat until batter doubles in volume and becomes very thick and pale -- about 5 minutes.
3. Reduce mixer speed to low and add the hot milk and butter. Add the flour mixture, in 1/4 cupfuls, scraping sides occasionally. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake until a wooden skewer inserted into the middle of the cake comes out clean -- 25 to 30 minutes. Let cool for 15 minutes on a wire rack. Release the cake and cool completely.
4. Make the frosting: Melt the remaining 1 cup butter and chocolate over a double boiler. Transfer to a large bowl, add the confectioners' sugar and beat using a mixer set on medium speed. Add the remaining 3 teaspoons vanilla and 1/4 cup plus 3 tablespoons milk and continue to beat until fluffy.
5. Assemble the cake: Cut the cake into two 9-inch by 6 1/2-inch halves. Split each half into 3 layers using a long serrated knife. Place one layer on a cake plate. Spread 1/2 cup frosting over the layer. Repeat with remaining layers. Frost cake top and sides and decorate with sprinkles.

You have no idea how badly I messed up this cake. See where it says 5 teaspoons of vanilla? I read 5 teaspoons of salt. And I looked twice. I thought to myself...really? How is that possible? Surely the cake will be ruined! But I added it. And the cake tasted like salt. All that butter, milk, sugar...the new mixer I paid 250 bucks for....all for naught.  5 teaspoons of salt!  Mehdi nearly bent over double laughing. Said "Walah I will spend 365 days full laughing." Hardy har har mister. Haaaaardy har. Ah well. I had runny frosting left over from yesterday and a spare box cake, so that is in the oven. People at work are expecting something, and I can't bring them a salt brick. Rest assured I will not use the expensive chocolate today though..that frosting will have to wait. I am wasted from stress. As soon as I take this cake out of the oven, I am making popcorn (salty) and am going to snack myself into oblivion. 

The Salt Brick

Tomorrow is another day Scarlett.

Love,

Felicia El Aid

The Oaf of Cakes

Box cakes are disgusting. So is canned frosting. But I am committed to making all 53 cakes in Country Living's Great Cakes: Home-Baked Cakes From the Country Living Kitchen. Why? Because I made a couple cakes from this cookbook years ago and loved them. And you gotta start somewhere.

You know, things never turn out the way I expect them to. If you look at the cookbook pic of this dang cake, then the pic of mine, there is no comparison. Theirs? Large. Luxurious. Swirling with frosting. Mine? Kinda flat, with a glaze of icing. Squished. As in the Oaf of Cakes and not the Ace of Cakes. Here is what happened.

It's hard to find sour cream in Salalah. Usually downright impossible. Every once in awhile I find a pint and grab it. The first time, I bought dried french onion soup and some Lays and ate French Onion dip until I went into a fat induced coma. The second time, I made fish tacos and invited friends over for dinner. Believe me, sour cream is an event here. The third time, I made tacos. This was for company my husband invited for iftar (the meal that breaks the fast during Ramadan). Mehdi was impressed with my first fish taco meal and wanted a redux for some Tunisians visiting our fair city. Well guess what? I opened the carton, and the sour cream was curdled and liquefied. Some unRamadany words might have escaped my mouth. The fish tacos were a little flat, but fortunately fasting makes for really un-fussy dinner guests.

This time,  none could be found anywhere! I made the mistake of going to Lulus on a Friday night. I FORGOT this Friday was also payday night and everyone travels from the mountain communities   to stock up on supplies. Lulus at any time is an adventure. An homage to consumerism, Lulus is a "hypermarket" started by a Keralite, and they are all over the Middle East. For a number of Indian families, Friday night at Lulus in an event. Sparkly salwar kameezes are everywhere and lots of coconut oil gets used glossing up the hair. You are better off just slitting your own throat than trying to shop for groceries on payday Friday night. To make matters worse, for the first time since I arrived in Salalah, there was no darn shredded coconut available! For crying out loud! This was part of the filling! I looked at the berzillion people in line and just abandoned my cart. I decided to substitute whipped cream for the sour cream frosting, and just chop some almonds...never mind the coconut. Hence, the cake doesn't resemble the original, except it is in four layers and is a box cake.

Lulus Hypermarket in Salalah. Avoid at all costs on Friday night. It's like Vegas for groceries, and not in a fun "hey let's find the hookers" kinda way. Wait. Ok I won't get into hookers at Lulus. Not today anyway. Boom!

The original cakes as depicted in the cookbook.

My cake. I laugh every time I look at this picture. But it was tasty! We'll see what epic disaster takes place tomorrow. I took the much altered cake to my monthly "foodie club" meeting. We ate it all. What I will do with the next 364 cakes, I have no idea.

Here is the original recipe. I copied it from the website and gave you a link. I seriously can't be bothered to type the whole recipe over again.

Rich Chocolate Layer Cake

• 1 box(es) devil's food cake mix, such as Betty Crocker
• 1/4 cup(s) unsweetened cocoa
• 1 cup(s) mayonnaise, such as Hellmann's or Best Foods
• 3 large eggs
• 1 cup(s) water
• 2 container(s) (16 ounces each) chocolate frosting
• 1/4 cup(s) sour cream
• 2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup(s) chopped almonds, toasted
• 1 cup(s) sweetened flaked coconut, toasted

Directions

1. Make the cake: Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly coat two 8-inch cake pans with softened butter. Cut two 8-inch circles out of parchment paper and fit them into the bottom of the cake pans. Lightly coat the paper circles with butter. Lightly flour both pans, shake out excess flour and set aside. Beat the cake mix, cocoa, mayonnaise, eggs, and water in a large bowl with an electric mixer set on low speed. Increase speed to high and beat for 2 more minutes. Pour batter into prepared pans and bake until a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean -- about 35 minutes. Cool cakes in pans on wire racks for 20 minutes. Remove cakes from pans and return to the wire racks until completely cool.
2. Make the filling: Whisk the frosting, sour cream, and vanilla together in a large bowl. Transfer 1 1/2 cups of frosting to a medium bowl and stir in the almonds and the toasted coconut. Set aside.
3. Assemble the cake: Split both layers and brush away any excess crumbs. Place one split layer on a cake plate. Tuck strips of wax paper under the edges of the cake to protect the plate. Spread 1/3 of the filling over the layer. Top with the next layer and spread another 1/3 of the filling over the top. Repeat with the third cake layer and remaining filling and top with the final cake layer. Spread the frosting over the top of cake smoothing out to the edges. Spread the remaining frosting around the sides and serve or store covered for up to 4 days.

Tomorrow is Sponge Cake with Chocolate Frosting. I hope it's more successful looking than this one, as I used most of the rent money on the freakin luxury chocolate for the frosting. 

Love,

Felicia El Aid