What Wives Want

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS MEANT TO AMUSE, NOT REFLECT ANYONE'S PARTICULAR SITUATION. Sheesh. Honestly I am laughing while I write. Seriously. I'm not trying to sound like Alanis Morissette.

زوجة
femme
frau

What is it that we want from men anyway? I have done loads of research and have lots of empirical data to cull in order to answer this question.

Nah, not really. I will take a stab at it though.

We want your time.

مرة. A lot of it. Women want your undivided, devoted, time. We want you to sit and watch television with us after dinner and the kids are put to bed (assuming there are any). We want you to hold our hand while you do it too. And talk to us in a meaningful way. Even if it bores you crudless. And we don't think it is too much to ask. We will even watch this with you while you hang with us:

Or something equally unfathomable.

We do not need this:

If your wife demands a lot of jewelry and gifts, then you picked the wrong woman. Good luck with that. I am talking about normal women. We want companionship. Camaraderie. I DID take a poll on facebook and got the following from women: kindness, love, respect, humor, listening, support, feeling valued, a best friend, and from my aunt I got "a man who loves his family more than his own life." My aunt did get that in my Uncle Cony by the way, and they've been married yonks and still actually LIKE each other! I got time as an answer as well.

Know what I think men want? Dinner. I think they want dinner. Or that other thing that is not dinner.

. 

Rigggggghhhhhttttttt.

KIDDING!!!

Now Dhofari women? The don't need a revolution. Not over this anyway. According to my informant (cool anthropology word of the day), women in Dhofar really have it made. They are busy with other women all the time. They go to parties and gatherings. Many of them have maids, so they can sleep and eat and relax as they please. Some husbands are simply an afterthought. Of course not all Omani husbands are an afterthought....come on. My point is local women have a community and family structure that supports them even if their husbands can't be bothered. My Omani friend said, even in the case of divorce, here in Salalah a father will cut a cow or a camel and have a feast and declare thanks to God that his daughter is returned to him. 

How fun is that? I put great effort into building community for myself here, but it is an effort. I find people with whom I can spend time. Many women here do not have the support of the family and community with which they grew up. So we have to make our own. Because here is the thing. Men see us as demanding and needy. THEIR responses were along the lines of  "limits" and "more." Men..I swanee give me strength.

I guess the upshot of it is, I think wives want their husband's attention. We do want your kindness and your love and your loyalty. We want it all, and we don't think that is too much to ask. In return, we make you comfortable, bear your children (and lose our figures because of it), and keep you company when you need it. We are here for you. We are your shelter from the storm. 

I think my daughter nailed it best of all when I asked her. She said everything. We want everything. Tous. We want it all. So just give it to us k?

On to today's cake. I got a request from a new customer for a "turtle cake." A turtle cake is a chocolate cake smothered in chocolate and caramel sauce and laced with pecans. We don't have pecans here in Salalah that I can find, so I went with walnuts. Walnuts are also yummy.

This is their cake. 

I modified the recipe to double it. I've learned that these pics are NOT the small layers the recipes make. I was correct. A doubled recipe mak)es a gigantic three layer cake.

Turtle Cake

2 eggs

2 c. buttermilk (or 2 c. milk with a teaspoon of vinegar)

1 1/3 c. vegetable oil

4 c. all-purpose flour

3 c. sugar

1 c. unsweetened cocoa powder

2  tbsp. baking soda (this was too much, just do 1)

1 tsp. salt

1/2 c. freshly brewed hot coffee (my customer didn’t want it…I used regular hot water)

In a stand mixer, blend the eggs, milk, oil, and sugar until creamy. It will be very liquid. Add sifted flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt. While mixing, slowly pour in hot water. Mix 2 minutes.

Divide into three 8 inch GREASED AND FLOURED cake pans. Bake 20 mintues at 350 (180C). If you cannot fit all the pans in one oven, refrigerate the other layers. I skipped this step, and shouldn't have. The acid from the baking soda built up by the third layer I think. Not sure, but there were bubbles in the batter. 

Cool cakes in pans 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack and cooking completely. 

Sauces:

The chocolate sauce

12 oz chopped chocolate or chocolate bits

1 c. cream

Bring the cream just to the boil. Pour over the chocolate and let it sit for at least 10 minutes. Do not give into temptation to stir it. It makes the chocolate grainy. Bring to room temperature. Drizzle in gobs over the cake layers. You will probably have extra left.

Caramel

3 cups of brown sugar. Light is better than dark, but all I had was dark. meh

1 c. cream
squeeze lemon juice
6 T cold butter, cut in chunks

Stir the brown sugar, cream, and lemon over low heat. Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Boil about five minutes, until sauce is thickened. Don't boil it for too long, or you will have candy that is impossible to spread. Remove from the heat, wait 10 minutes, then incorporate the butter. When the caramel is at room temperature, whip until smooth and creamy. This recipe makes a LOT of sauce, more than needed for the cake. Refrigerate the leftovers for ice cream or something.

A CAUTION: This cake is too big. Just don't do it in three giant layers. Take the recipe back by half and make a two layer cake, or three short layers.

My cake. The family that ordered it will all require trips to the dentist!

I enjoyed writing this post and all the fun discussions at work that went with my "research." I do remember an elderly lady who frequented a salon where I worked as a younger woman. She advised all of us not to let our spouses get lonely. "A lonely husband is not good ladies. Neither is a lonely wife."

Love,

Felicia El Aid