Valentine's Day in Salalah?

As I looked around a perfume shop for a Valentine's gift for Mehdi, I noticed something was off. It was Valentine's Day, yet quiet and peace reigned at the mall.  I was the only one browsing at Capital Store, happily squirting cologne and sniffing away. Where were the frantic men? Where were all the red crap hearts plastered everywhere, signifying you'd better get yer sweetie something for the big day? Huh?

Well, I've got news for you. Valentines Day is, technically, haram. As my students explained, Muslims celebrate only the two Eids, and because Valentines has its roots in Christianity, and prior to that, Rome, it is not for Muslims to celebrate.

Oh the devastation. I love Valentines Day.  I love the dinner out, the small niceties we do for each other; I like the reminder that we are still in love. Honestly, like Mother's Day, it's my day. I realize I am being humored. An Arab husband generally has no experience with Valentine's Day, or the ridiculous stress American women attach to it.

American men generally hate the whole damn day. We women act like the entire frickin world is collapsing if we aren't feted like goddesses from the moment we wake up until our pearly toes (preferably freshly pedicured as a result of the spa package he gave us for Valentines) hit the sheets. We also want to hit those sheets in some sexy bit of frillies he purchased in a lingerie shop to prove he still desires us after years of childbearing and swinging children off our tatas. God bless those poor fellas, for they can't win. And while I'm at it, pardon the hetero-centic slant of this post. I know you feel me whatever your inclinations.

I digress. I can kinda dig the point of view that Valentines is haram. If you belong to a particular religion, and you are not supposed to celebrate customs with roots in another religion, that makes sense. For Valentines, though, those roots go so far back hardly anyone has even the vaguest idea that it was ever religious in nature. It is an invention of marketing really, a purely capitalistic way to part men from their money.

Calm down I say. Calm down and take me to dinner. Buy me stuff. Rub my back and tell me you love me, for tis the day for love and kisses. And I want it to stay that way.

Erm.....How about this one?

This day just passed without a peep from anyone that I heard, yet Valentines causes quite the fuss. Priorities anyone?

Onto the cake. I have been eyeballing a cake by Ina Garten for a few weeks now. Rather, I've been eyeballing a recipe. She annoys me with her constant blather about what she's cooking her husband. What is that dude's name anyway? Steve? Michael? So generally I avoid her recipes. I am not saying my reasoning is sound; it's like this sometimes.

INA GARTEN'S CHOCOLATE CAKE

CAKE

1. 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
2. 2 cups sugar
3. 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
4. 2 teaspoons baking soda
5. 1 teaspoon baking powder
6. 1 teaspoon kosher salt
7. 1 cup buttermilk
8. 1/2 cup vegetable oil
9. 2 large eggs
10. 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
11. 1 cup freshly brewed hot coffee

FROSTING

1. 6 ounces semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
2. 2 sticks (1/2 pound) unsalted butter, at room temperature
3. 1 large egg yolk
4. 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
5. 1 cup plus 1 tablespoon confectioners' sugar, sifted
6. 1 tablespoon instant coffee granules

1. MAKE THE CAKE Preheat the oven to 350°. Butter two 8-by-2-inch round cake pans and line them with parchment; butter the paper. Dust the pans with flour, tapping out any excess.
2. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle, mix the flour with the sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder and salt at low speed. In a bowl, whisk the buttermilk with the oil, eggs and vanilla. Slowly beat the buttermilk mixture into the dry ingredients until just incorporated, then slowly beat in the hot coffee until fully incorporated.
3. Pour the batter into the prepared pans. Bake for 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of each cake comes out clean. Let the cakes cool in the pans for 30 minutes, then invert the cakes onto a rack to cool. Peel off the parchment.
4. MAKE THE FROSTING In a microwave-safe bowl, heat the chocolate at high power in 30-second intervals, stirring, until most of the chocolate is melted. Stir until completely melted, then set aside to cool.
5. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle, beat the butter at medium speed until pale and fluffy. Add the egg yolk and vanilla and beat for 1 minute, scraping down the side of the bowl. At low speed, slowly beat in the confectioners’ sugar, about 1 minute. In a small bowl, dissolve the instant coffee in 2 teaspoons of hot water. Slowly beat the coffee and the cooled chocolate into the butter mixture until just combined.
6. Set a cake layer on a plate with the flat side facing up. Evenly spread one-third of the frosting over the cake to the edge. Top with the second cake layer, rounded side up. Spread the remaining frosting over the top and side of the cake. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour before slicing.

**I followed the recipe. Mostly. I did accidentally read two egg yolks in the frosting recipe, so I increased the confectioners sugar by half a cup. I had half a cup left in the box anyway and I didn't feel like putting away a mostly empty box. This worked fine. I crumb coated the cake lightly and refrigerated it for 30 minutes before icing. Really, it's a "crumby" cake, so do this. I've also started putting parchment down for chocolate cakes. Homemade chocolate cakes seem stickier than box cakes, and the parchment helps them pop out easily. The top of the cake is also smoother to frost. Admittedly it's a pain in the arse, but cut a bunch out with a template and keep them on hand. It matters.

Her cake. This is the usual example of cheating by the magazine. There is no way to frost the cake  this much without doubling the recipe. Yes, it would look like this if you friggin stopped frosting half the cake. 

My usual crap pic in a dark living room. This is a rich, RICH cake with a lot of coffee flavor. The egg yolk makes the icing like silk on the tongue baby. Yes, this is a nice cake.

I think as humans we need to focus on what matters. For me, that isn't about whether I pull hairs from my eyebrows (I tried to stop) or cover my hair. Those are really important to some people, but I just don't see it as a big thing in a world where women are mutilated and children are slaughtered. That beat goes on and on. So if you want a little love on Valentines Day, rock on with that. In my humble opinion.

Love,

Felicia El Aid